That Delicate Balance

Last night's class was good, a nice even score between things I did terribly and things I managed to do well or things Ms. Mylene says I'm improving in.

I couldn't coordinate my arms with the legwork in our tombe pas de bourree combi, I still can't get down in splits, I keep sickling, my head is looking the wrong way during some of the barre work (I'm mostly looking at the others because I forget what's next)...Ugh, and all that jazz. Teacher spent the entire of the developpes (three whole exercises) sitting at my feet telling me to turn out and straighten my working leg. Ugh.

But even when you feel like your legs are morphing into lead, even when you want to cry at what seems to be a hopeless case, you keep going on. Between mistakes or just simply looking terrible, it gets really depressing and one can find herself sitting on the floor, cradling her head in her hands (like Diana Vishneva is doing in the pic). But, as Ms. Mylene says, you can get up on your shaky knees and give it a dozen more tries or you can sit there and wonder what your potential is.

And every now and then, you do something right or you improve on something. And in my case, Ms. Mylene makes sure that she points out the good as well as the bad. She congratulated me on being more stable, on keeping my focus even when she's by my side correcting me or when she praises me, on remembering the steps even when she got her verbal reminders wrong, on remembering the previous center exercises, for pushing myself in the training exercises for fouettes and chainnes, for remembering to spot and for not watching myself in the mirror all the time.

And when you get good news, you get a renewed sense of hope. I CAN be better. I WILL be better.

And the night ended with arather novel experience. In class, we all look like we're poised and graceful. Then you start the commute home. I rode on the back of a tricycle last night, clumsily hanging on for dear life, all the exhaust in the traffic-choked Capitol Hills Drive calling on an asthma attack in me. I didn't look so beautiful, graceful, or poised when just moments ago I did. I had to laugh.

Sissonnes

Svetlana Zakharov: I like her top... =)


I like sissonnes (sp?). We had a new combination for center: sissonne, sissonne, sissonne, arabesque with allonge (I really liked the arms on this one). I could easily imagine us dancing La Sylphide.

And we tried double pirouettes. Tried being the operative word in my case. Rio and Marion nailed it though. Well, another thing to look forward to in the near future. Wohoo for clean singles. But then, those were in soft shoes.

Ms. Mylene was merciful to us today. We didn't have pointes on throughout the entire class. Tomorrow night is sure to be hell though. It's back into toe shoes. I'll probably kill off another toe. I'm becoming a serial killer.

We did two new barre exercises, one of them was petit battement. It's too fast for me. I skip the beating entirely. I look terrible. Then we worked on penches. I'm still somewhere between the 6:10 and 6:15 range. Ms. Mylene had us do it facing the mirror so we could see how far we could go and so we could have something to anticipate. Just keep telling yourself that that leg will get to the six o'clock position someday... That and doing stretches and strengthening exercises.

Stupid splits. Can't get down into them unless I'm so warmed up I'm sweating like a pig. And even then, I feel like I'm ripping my hips out.

But at least I can control my stomach more in the grand battement. I'm not leaning back or front. I'm much more stable even after just a week of pilates. I got a copy of Mari Winsor's Pilates program. I've been doing it every night since. It's a great workout that leaves me feeling the burn in my core. But it makes me feel taller and more supple at the end. And it's just a 20 minute routine so it's perfect for study breaks. Thanks to Jacks for recommending pilates. It would be fun to have someone personally help me with it but my budget can't hold that right now.

I wonder how my two month break from ballet class is going to affect my dancing (or attempts at dancing). I'm looking for ballet schools in the US and Singapore that are near to where I'll be staying with my Aunties. But I doubt the family will be thrilled about me taking classes while I'm there. I could sneak off for the classes... Hmmm...

All in all, I had a great class tonight. I didn't hate the mirror so much. And Ms. Mylene gave me Angela's place on the barre. Now me and Marion lead the ladies through the barre exercises, both of us on oppossite ends of the barre. This might explain why the newbies behind me were lost in the middle of battement fondue. I was a mess. I had temporary, selective amnesia. I couldn't remember what to do for the darn exercise. So sorry ladies.